


Save Here

by looneyngilo2



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 13:12:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/looneyngilo2/pseuds/looneyngilo2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy and Dean are alone, and their complicated feelings take over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save Here

**Author's Note:**

> For simplyturquoise's (on LJ) prompt for Dirgesong's Christmas Porn Fic Exchange.

Jimmy sat in the motel room, his head was knocked back. He was out of reach, finally able to control his body, to be alone in his mind. He couldn't cope with how longed for it was and yet how strange it felt.

“How you doing?” asked Dean.

Jimmy suddenly realized they were alone in the motel.

“I’m not Cas.” Jimmy said, sharply.

“I know."

"I know nothing about what happened with Castiel and I... am overjoyed for that. I want to go home. Please, just let me go and don't look for me."

"Jimmy - I would love to -"

"Right, I just... Disaster's to follow me, right?"

"That's pretty damn likely. You have to think about your family -”

Jimmy screamed and Dean averted his gaze and took a swig of his beer.

"Sorry,” Jimmy said.

 

"Don't be."

 

“I feel so... tongue-tied. I'm not him, and he was like that, you know. That’s why he never just... said whatever he was thinking.”

Dean smiled slightly, “Geeky little dude couldn’t hide it anyway.”

Jimmy frowned, and watched him as Dean got himself another beer and started drinking his third beer of the night.

"We'll get you back to your family, I promise. We just... want to make sure you're safe."

“Yeah, and to see if he comes back. I know you _care_ about Castiel,” said Jimmy, angrily.

 

"Look, I don't want to hope that he comes back, but -"

 

"He was fond of you. You were _nice_ to him. You were... different. He hadn’t met anyone like you... It’s why he got in trouble. Because... he cared about -”

“Jimmy, just-”

“No, I mean. I am angry,” he said, the anger rising.”I am angry, angry that I loved God so much, that I trusted in him so much. Who... he's not even there to pray to. And Castiel... I hated him. I hated him. I felt that he’d lied to me, that he’d... It was all about duty and... He feels as lonely and broken and... abandoned as I do. The hurt we felt at God, it was the same. I couldn’t tell the difference between his feelings and mine, and it was terrifying, like, hearing screaming but not knowing if it’s coming from you or...”

Dean looked at him for a long time.

“But that was too painful for him, being angry. He was so desperate for God to love him. He felt God was tired of him, ashamed of him... If we were such loyal and obedient children, then... I was angry. He was just... heartbroken.”

After a long pause, Dean said, “And that’s my fault, right? That he has... doubts? And, what, those little feathery bastards can’t handle a little questioning?”

“That’s how the world works,” said Jimmy, sharply. “Surprise, surprise.”

Dean bit his lip and looked away.

“Dean, he was always on the outside. The others seemed scared of him, like he was poisonous, a traitor. You... You cracked through something. I don’t know, made him know he... wasn’t some terrible child God hated... Because you - and he felt it, but didn’t understand it... that you were... I could feel it, too. And I could tell the difference between his feelings and mine, but... I know what you felt for him...”

“I... He’s like a brother to me,” said Dean, standing up.

Jimmy stood up and said, “Dean, don't fucking kid yourself.”

 

"I need to eat," said Dean.

  
It was a while later when Jimmy spoke again. “I miss my family. I miss my wife. Our love is... just stripped and frayed now. Raw, because of this. But I know - I know you cared about him the way I - I... ,“ he closed his eyes.

“He didn’t,” said Dean, quietly, standing up.

“Because he’s gone?,” said Jimmy. He approached him, his eyes tearful, and he set his hand on Dean’s chest. “Dean, I- I know... And I need - I need that closeness. I need to feel something familiar. That longing I know you felt for him and he felt for you.”

They were both frowning and looking at each other’s eyes. Then Dean grabbed his face and kissed him, desperately, his whole body anxious for it.

 

The kiss was hard and forceful and eager and out of rhythm and it hurt, but Jimmy moaned, with a sadness that threw Dean aback, but Jimmy held him tight around his back, and he grabbed Dean’s hair, pressing Dean close to him, and Dean could smell him, the difference between Jimmy and Castiel, so that Cas’s scent was light, hidden.

 

That only made him more desperate to get closer, made the need more urgent, and he bit at Jimmy’s neck, hearing him panting loudly in his ear.

He was almost growling as he removed Jimmy’s shirt and undid Jimmy’s pants, he could have ripped them. He shoved his underwear down, pressing him close to him.

 

Jimmy was unashamed of his nudity, and he pushed Dean from him, so Dean could see him completely.

 

He removed Dean’s button down and t-shirt with the same anger, the rage that seemed to be flowing through both of them.

 

He then grabbed Dean around his lower back and kissed him, biting those full lips, and was bitten back, until their lips were red and sore.

Dean threw him down onto the bed, undoing his belt buckle, staring at him, shoving his pants down as quickly as he could.

 

He didn’t remove his boots or his jeans that had fallen to his ankles, and instead he kneeled onto the bed. He ran his hands down Jimmy’s thighs, clawing at them and biting them until they were red.

 

Then Jimmy pulled him up, wanting to feel the weight of him, smelling the deodorant, cheap aftershave and beer, scents that were familiar to him because of Castiel’s tendency to stand too close to Dean.

They both wanted to be somewhere else, wanted their thoughts to be somewhere else, but their rage made it impossible for them to be separate, it bound them, it made them present, noticing every breath, every stroke, and bite and scratch.

He ran his hands down Dean’s back, and he started to arch his own back, pressing his pelvis onto Dean’s. Dean hesitated, but Jimmy shook his head, and angrily said “Just do it, do it, do it. Come on, come on.”

He grabbed onto Dean’s ass, and Dean struggled to position himself, which he did roughly, trembling, his breath quick. He slid his hands under Jimmy’s ass, lifting his hips, getting on his knees, setting Jimmy’s thighs onto his. He lifted his cock, biting his lips and then pushing himself in. It’s hard, it’s wrong, it’s... but it’s amazing, and each push takes him further in, held tightly, pulled and squeezed urgently. Jimmy was in pain, gripping and biting Dean’s arms, but he didn’t want him to stop.  

They were squirming, bucking, thrashing all over the bed, making the sheets and pillows fall off the bed, Dean pumping hard, wanting to give them bruises.

 

He was fucking him so hard the bed was moving, the headboard banging against the wall, and their minds were only focused on fucking, on coming: nothing existed but this, the way Jimmy’s body undulated beneath him, the way he gripped Dean’s cock so tightly, grabbing onto his neck, biting his shoulder.

 

And it’s deep and they’re coming, the fire and pleasure hitting them in greater waves, their cocks jerking, shooting their cum all over each other.

\-----

 

“That a little souvenir,” whispered Jimmy to Dean, who was asleep, as his fingers hovered over the handprint scar Cas had left on Dean, “of being saved or of hell?”

He threw his head back and sighed, rubbing his eyes, “I’m so tired.”

He stood up and began gathering his things. He was leaving to see his family, and he was leaving now.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to the book Aqua Erotica and the song 'Here's Where the Story Ends' by The Sundays, for inspiration. 
> 
> Title, BTW, is like 'except here', not... some computer related thing.


End file.
